Even the most optimistic aging baby boomer feels old and crabby sometimes. A looming winter storm, a late winter head cold, or achy muscles can make the day feel tedious. The response is to wish for time to pass, to get to tomorrow; however, that is not something an aging person should ever crave. We have to live each day because there may not be a tomorrow.  Self-indulgence–my usual response–is self-defeating. Kicking things is dangerous to thinning bones.  

Staying crabby is no fun. What to do?  I have three suggestions. First, seek laughter, the universal cure for the blahs. Look for things to make you laugh; try to make other people laugh. Find some jokes at cleanjoke.com 

Example:

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.”The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”

Example:

Did you ever wonder:

• Can you cry under water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• Why do you have to “put your two cents in”…but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
• Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
• If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
• Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

Include opportunities to laugh at yourself. In my case that means a trip to aha.com/religious

Example:

A young lad was visiting a church for the first time, checking all the announcements and posters along the walls. When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby usher, “Who are all those men in the pictures?” The usher replied, “Why, those are our boys who died in the service”. Dumbfounded, the youngster asked, “Was that the morning service or the evening service?”

The second cure for old and crabby is: get out the Ipod (in my case Sony). Put on decent headphones not the stupid ear buds and crank up Eric Clapton’s Layla or Rolling Stones’s, Satisfaction. If you are at work, close the office door and crank up tunes on the computer–preferably classic rock.

The third strategy:take a walk, which can also be combined with the second.

So there you have it: laugh, listen to Eric Clapton, and take a walk–the  baby boomers cure for old and crabby. For those who live in Colorado, you have a fourth option. The resulting munchies would throw off my blood sugar too much so it is Eric Clapton for me!