Last winter, a local lamented about all the stuff in his house. With a sigh he said, At least my auction sale will be a good one. Now, I love the words auction and sale, and when I hear them together my toes start tingling. Auction sale? When? Where? What? You know, when I die and they have my auction sale, he said. I asked in a worried tone, You already have plans for this? Are you planning to die soon? I don’t get it, so he explains that everyone here has an auction sale, either after they die or when they move to the assisted living, whichever comes first. You may not know when either of those will occur, but you know there will be an auction sale. Everyone does it, dead or alive. We will go to an auction sale this summer so you can see. 

I am not clear about when, but summer did arrive in North Dakota, and I attended the first of many auction sales. Here is how it works:

• The family of the deceased (or infirm) boxes up all household items. The boxes are the size of apple boxes from the grocery and contain books, kitchen stuff, towels, sewing supplies, or a VCR and old movies. Several boxes hold cleaning supplies or nice china. Bins contain Christmas and Halloween decor.
• The night before the sale, the auction people pull long flatbed trailers onto the street in front of the house or in the alley. Some auction sales need 3 trailers, others 5 or 6, filling an entire city block.
• Next, the family cleans out the garage. Jars of nails and screws, bundles of screwdrivers and hammers, and coils of ancient garden hoses and extension cords go into more boxes. Family members carry rakes, brooms, lawn mowers, garden supplies to the flatbed. Large garage items, such as shelves, a riding lawn mower, and fencing are displayed in neat rows on the lawn.
• Now, furniture comes out of the house, and family members place each item in another neat row: dinette set, mid-century modern bedroom furniture, end tables, sofa, entertainment center–everything.
• Auction sales include any vehicles that family does not take, so they are lined up next. Most sales offer at least an old pick-up truck and maybe a vintage car. My favorite was a 1967 red Volkswagen.
• Presumably family or others clean the empty house, which will also be sold, and the next day the fun begins.

To see an upcoming auction sale flyer, click here.

On Auction Day, locals swarm over the goods. Like them, I learn to poke around in each box looking for treasures and then stroll among the furniture rows looking for a potential deal. I gawk at the vehicles and tour the empty house. Some sales have a table full of rifles and ammo, which sell at exorbitant prices.

In the meantime, the auction people, who are related to everyone near or along the ND/SD border, pull a smallish cargo trailer near the street corner. The fully enclosed trailer has been converted to an office, where a computer savvy gal issues your auction number through a small window. Another, longer cargo trailer, converted to a kitchen, pulls up and starts making lunch, which is always BBQ (sloppy joes) or pulled pork sandwiches. The chatter of friends, neighbors, and serious buyers tapers off and then, in a grand entrance, the auctioneer pulls his fancy auction office on wheels parallel to the flatbed trailers. As the sale progresses and one trailer empties, he will move to the next trailer.

Auction central is extraordinary. The huge pickup is fitted with a truck camper. The auctioneer sits up in the camper, at a desk behind the window. We hear him through the mounted outdoor speakers. The auction secretary, seated next to him, records every sale into a computer.

This is Randy, owner of Ulmer Auction, in his converted pick-up truck camper. I have not asked for permission to post this photo, so if I disappear, you know who to question.

Next: the auctioneer tells everyone to gather near and settle down. Shhhhh, he says, and we comply. The auction sale begins.

To be continued….