While my surprise visit from a friend brought great joy, I am back to grumpy. The trigger: news stories about the Republican push to repeal the Affordable Care Act as a first priority. They say that Obamacare is bad, the medical care is poor, and the cost is too high. However, it is only insurance and after signing up, you pick your own doctor. I have wonderful care, and I pay $54/month, which is less than last year. What is so bad about that? What? Why do Republicans want to hurt people and do it as a first priority? The Obamacare thing has me unnerved because paying retail health insurance would cost $700. Ouch. I have such as sense of dread, and inside I am angry at people I know who voted for Tr—. 

I am also grumpy because I am not writing every day for 6 hours. Like any other goal, I find distractions and am living day-to-day without much structure. Island life! I already dread the 1000 mile drive through Texas, and I don’t leave for 6 weeks. I miss my kids, too. I worry about the camper moisture and the van, which needs new rear tires.

 I had many more challenges last year, including leaving a job, moving to a new state, transitioning to retirement.  However, I floated through the changes with faith that everything would work out and it did.

This sustained grumpiness is not me, and I need to find my rock-solid foundation again. My two days/week of volunteer work in FL taught me the importance of doing something meaningful. I also need to think positive again and be sure to get in my long walks with Tango on the beach every day. Time to set the alarm clock again, because I am sleeping in. Time to kayak more often, which is perhaps the one thing in life that brings me the greatest joy. I think I will rent a movie, which always lifts me up.

Part of me feels guilty for being a bit depressed. I am “living the life” as so many others have said. Northern ID, where the kids are is 0 degrees, while ND, where I lived last winter has been around -30 degrees each morning. Nearly everyone I know is dealing with snow. We will have a cold spell here as well, but today is bright and sunny.

Grumpiness is not selective, affecting only people living through a snowy, sub-zero day. We all find ourselves in a funk sometimes, no matter how good the circumstances. My strategy in an hour or so is to hit the beach and let the sunshine and soft breezes blow into my soul.