Mom developed a serious infection in one eye after receiving routine shots in her eye for macular degeneration. Her doctor (who comes to Akron once a week) runs the retina clinic at the Cole Eye Center, which is part of the renowned Cleveland Clinic.

I took mom to the Akron clinic when it was clear she had a problem. They told us she was experiencing a rare and dangerous side effect and staff in Akron phoned ahead to the Cole Eye Center, about 30 mins north. We dashed up there. Since valet parking would be closed when we exited, the attendants parked our car right on the sidewalk, near the entrance, and then handed me the keys. They did not want me to push the wheelchair too far back to the car. I pushed her into the elevator, and we exited on the second floor. We found the area mostly deserted, except for the staff who were waiting for us. Mom’s doctor, a second retina specialist, and a resident (each an MD/Ph.D.) stayed beyond quitting time on a Friday night to treat Mom. She needed an immediate injection of antibiotics into the eye. They ordered the eye drops that she needed while we were driving up there earlier so Mom would not need to wait.

Dr. Sumit Sharma, Cleveland Clinic

We returned to the clinic the next morning during a time when the center is normally closed. We pulled up to the door and the MD/Ph.D. came down and opened the locked door for us. He found a wheelchair for mom and helped her out of the car. Back upstairs, he carefully checked mom’s eye and added 5 drops to the routine, to be administered every hour back at the rehab. Before we left, the doc gave me his CELL PHONE number in case we had any problems (we did- the pharmacist back in Akron did not have one of the drops so he calls, the doc answers and he orders a replacement).

We returned again on Tuesday during regular business hours. Mom’s infection had improved dramatically, although she may need eye surgery to clean up what the doctors called “debris”. The resident who saw Mom this time was wearing socks with dog images. I decided to comment on it and he talked all about his love of dogs. I told him about Tango and how he protects “Grandma” in her apartment. He wanted to see a photo, so I showed him the one where Tango sits under her walker. “What a fine animal”, the doc says.

As I pushed Mom through the waiting area, which looks down to the first-floor atrium, I noticed a huge, free, coffee bar. We also heard a flutist playing! A young woman stood near the atrium and played for everyone coming, going, sitting, standing, or just passing through. We stopped for several moments to listen. Once downstairs, I pushed Mom’s wheelchair to one side so she could listen more while I settled up with the valet attendants and they retrieved the car. The musical interlude was so lovely, so soul-lifting. Some of the rural areas where I lived in recent years were lucky to have a doctor at all, let alone musical entertainment for patients. Civilization!

We return again on Thursday and perhaps several more times. I can’t wait to get there, to sip good coffee, hear wonderful music and chat with kind, world-class doctors. Contrast those experiences with the rehab/nursing center. They manage to get most of Mom’s medicines straight, but we still ask them to comply with other doctor’s orders (weighing her daily to monitor congestive heart failure, giving breathing treatments and so on). We are so afraid they will not have the time for or interest in putting 6 eye drops in every hour (spaced 5 mins apart), that I stay with her for nearly 3 days to put the drops in myself. I can tell by their frowns that I am tagged as a “meddler” by the nurses.

Yesterday morning Mom sat one hour in her wheelchair after buzzing the attendant to help her go to the bathroom. When I arrived, I was able to help her, and the attendant didn’t come in for another 15 mins. Later, the same attendant insisted that mom stand on her own when she finally weighed her. Mom, who should never be asked to stand on her own, of course, started falling. The aid broke the hard fall and guided mom to the floor so she landed gently. I had finally left to take a break and received a call about the incident. Back to the center, where Mom was okay but badly shaken. Something happens at the dreary rehab center every day.

I have been eating lunch and dinner with Mom since I am there all day, and the food is barely edible slop – everything is overcooked and tasteless. The dining room is so cold my stepdad needs a blanket while in there! When I walk across the floor to the table, the floor appears to be covered in spilled juice and I make a sticky-floor sound as I clop across. The sad thing is, I believe that most nursing home and rehab places are the same. Mom was in a different facility a few years ago and she has the same horror stories.

The care we provide for our elderly folks is atrocious. The centers are severely understaffed with a few LPNs and aides. They are tired, grumpy and too busy with someone else when another patient rings for help. A doctor comes around one or two times weekly, checks Mom’s heartbeat, and waltzes off. If a person needs anything other than scheduled meds, like a C-pap, forget it.

The eye drop routine is less cumbersome now, so I am getting rest and recuperating. By next week at this time, we will be making decisions. I will do everything I can to keep my mom and stepdad from rotting away in the chaos that passes for elder care.

Thanks for letting me unload. I nearly unraveled but the schedule is much better and baby brother is doing the evening shift for mom’s drops, at least for a few days. Tonight: NCIS and Bull reruns on TV. Then, Tango and I will take off and camp for a night once another brother arrives from Chicago.

Meddle