For now, my strolls on the beach with Tango, hikes in the mountains, wanderings in the meadows, and interactions with bison: gone and replaced by wheeled adventures with Mom to assorted doctors. Next week, the podiatrist for a toenail clipping, eye doctor for an assessment, and primary care physician for a routine, long-scheduled visit. The Wheelchair, not Mom, will be the central character in the adventures as I navigate, push, pull, fold-up, and hoist the
With my life so intimately associated with the Wheelchair, it must have a name that reflects its character: pushy, unyielding, strong, invincible, hardworking. How about Hillary? After all, Mom voted for Hillary and I seriously doubt that any other wheelchair in the U.S goes by that name. So, Hillary it is.
Even in ADA compliant buildings, navigating is a challenge for the designated pusher. In time, though, wheelchair operation and transport become second nature. Perhaps I am even an expert. How do I know that? How would you know you are ready for a NASCAR-like wheelchair competition? Here it is:
7 Signs You are a Wheelchair Expert
You no longer run over your own toes when backing up. Hillary gains momentum when I walk backward while pulling her towards me and, if I am not careful, she runs over my toes. Surprisingly, I have not severed any, just suffered a few bruises on my feet.
You can now easily switch from pushing forward to pulling backward without any missteps. Having trouble getting through a small door going forward? No problem. Twirl the helpless pushee and then pull backward through the door frame. Wheeeee!
You are a wheelchair expert if you can stop the Wheelchair before jamming the foot rests against the back wall of an elevator. The pushee’s feet are protected; however, this habit leaves dents and scratches on elegant elevators at the Cleveland Clinic, and the crashing sound startles everyone else onboard
You actually remember, with great efficiency, to lock the wheels and flip up the foot rests every time the pushee must transfer from the chair to a car seat or doctors chairs.
Again, fluid motion defines a Wheelchair expert. You are an expert if you can fold that metallic monster with one motion, pulling up on the seat and then sliding it into the back seat of a low, sporty car without dragging metal parts across the ceiling fabric and slamming it against the pushee’s headrest.
The pushee is so grateful that someone is even trying, they stop complaining.
You can anticipate narrow passages ahead and take an alternate route, around and across the waiting room.
And finally, an expert knows that when all else fails, smile at the gawking crowd staring as you fail to push mom or dad through a small doorway. Look for a sympathetic face and let your gaze linger. Within seconds, a gallant someone will come to your rescue.
By the way, you are not yet expert if people you nearly run over are asking if you, “have a license to drive that thing.” Just smile at the doubters. You will improve quickly.
