I am spending my summer picking up trash at Washington State Parks. I have a fancy title –Volunteer Camp Host – but what I really do is pick-up trash. Lot’s of trash. Sure, I also answer questions and smile at everyone as they try to entertain their crabby kids or when they are all sitting around in the rain with nothing to do. Still, 90% of my job involves trash.

Each day around noon, I put on my host uniform, a green baseball cap and vest, both of which say “Volunteer” in large letters. I pull on my heavy-duty gloves and then hop on my Kubota diesel 4-wheeler. I am responsible for 70 regular campsites, 3 walk-up sites, and 5 hiker/biker sites up on a hill. I visit each site that is vacated that day, parking strategically near 3 or 4 sites that need cleaning. I estimate that I walk at least a mile in the campground, maybe more. Using my nifty long-handled trash grabber, I walk every inch of the empty sites, picking up whatever the folks leave behind and adding it to my bucket.  The most common items so far are the cellophane wrappers from Capri-Sun straws, rubber bands, bottle caps, hair ties, bread bag twist ties and their square plastic cousins, broken zip ties, and nylon cording. Once I found a kickball, another time, a broken bike. I may even find used baby diapers on the picnic table. Next,  I rummage around the fire pit. There, I often find vegetable peelings, used paper towels and coffee filters, paper dishes, aluminum beer cans, cigarette butts,, boxes from a new air mattress, and styrofoam cups. Small items go in my bucket and large stuff goes in the back of the Kubota. If I find firewood, I get to keep it, a nice perk.

There is more to my dirty job! In the late afternoon or evening, I ride out to the beach day-use area and park away from where the poop-emitting seagulls and crows are congregating that day. With my handy bucket and trash grabber, I walk the entire area. I travel along the swim beaches, around the picnic tables, through the parking lot, across the strips of land where people set up volleyball nets, and down the nature trail. Round trip, I cover more than a mile in the day-use area. Whales often surface just off-shore and entertain me and, perhaps, thank me. My recent haul included a plastic mesh bag that would have ensnared a sea bird, twine, a used zip-tie, bottle caps, beer bottles, food containers, and Kleenex. I also find a large number of baby carrots in the sand. Do people think that seagulls like them? Take my word for it, they do not. I get to clean them up instead.

It may sound somewhat gross; however, I love my trashy work! I get great exercise and lots of people thank me for what I am doing. Kids stare at me as they try to process how/why someone who is wearing an ugly, ill-fitting, green mesh vest and who looks like their grandma is picking up soiled paper towels and bottle caps when everyone else is drinking and carrying on. I like to think I am being a good role model for them. At a minimum, I am a good example for their parents.

The most rewarding part of my job, however, is seeing just how much trash I keep from entering the ocean. We all read stories about dead whales whose bellies are full of plastic trash. Yesterday I kept a 5-gallon bucket of plastic detritus out of the ocean. And the day before and the day before that. I will be here a month or, more specifically, 5 days a week times 4 weeks, for a total of 20 days. That means I will keep approximately 100 gallons of waste out of the ocean at this one park. I will be at another ocean-front park in October, so there is another 100 gallons or so! Wow, 200 gallons! I am obsessed now, looking farther and walking even more in my new calling. I want to continue daily trash walks long after I head south for the winter and leave my official capacity in Washington State. The desert where I will hang out is drowning in even more waste, thanks to the winds that blow it everywhere. I need to walk, anyway!

Here is my message: the supposedly unglamorous act of picking up trash is an important job for seniors who are feeling unwanted, underutilized, out-of-shape, bored to tears, or who are concerned about not otherwise contributing to the greater good. Look no more! We have an important job in the coming decades and can even lead the way on the battlefield of plastics pollution across all of our planet. This is our moment, our chance to shine, to contribute! You don’t have to be an official camp host, although a free campsite in the woods and/or near the beach in return for your efforts is a sweet reward.  Just purchase a bucket and trash grabber to launch your own trashy business. Then, just walk the streets. Your kids and grandkids may not be amused but you will feel a whole lot better about yourself in your new job as a Planet Hero!