What is a snowbird to do when it is too windy to kayak? Over the last few weeks, I have spent many hours online researching my ancestry. A friend got me started, and since then I slid deeply down the ancestry.com rabbit hole where I remain even today. 

So what have I discovered? The direct Willis side is traced only back to Ireland in the 1800s. My Great Grandfather immigrated during the potato famine, through Ellis Island. However, the Willis who married into the Curtiss/Cleveland lines linked us to many of the Connecticut families that trace themselves back to colonial America. I have found 4 dozen ancestor lines ( including Webster, Alexander, Graham, Merriman, Russell, Howe and so on) who are easily traced back to assorted ships that arrived from England, most of them in the years following the arrival of the Mayflower. And all but one or two lines went to the Connecticut Colony, and one ancestor even founded the city of Stratford, CT. A small handful landed near Plymouth and stayed at the Massachusetts Colony. The lines include governors, sheriffs, city dignitaries, and ministers. Lots of ministers. These were, after all, Pilgrim and Puritans who left England to get away from religious persecution by the Church of England. I can tell from the biblical names they gave their kids (Moses, Issac, Obediah, Benjamin, etc) that these were deeply religious families (yet someone dallied with a local because I have 1% Native American DNA).

Going back even further I was able to trace many of these lines to their home towns in England. There may be some royal blood if titles like Sir and “Lady” are indicative of that. However, looking for a link to a king or queen  is a project for next winter. I have enough to deal with now, and I am still only on my Dad’s side. 

Most people would be proud to uncover such a lineage. But, I am left with an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Not the one I get when I eat a McDonalds spicy chicken sandwich, but the one that bubbles up when I am feeling guilty. You see, these are the people who viewed themselves as God’s chosen people to start a new colony. In the process they stole the land from Native Americans and decimated their populations through disease and wars. I have several ancestors who fought in the assorted “Indian Wars” that were famously waged to wipe out natives who resisted white rule. One even died fighting Native Americans. Furthermore, they were religious zealots. And the Willis who came from Ireland during the famine? He was Protestant Anglo-Irish, meaning these ancestors would have been sent from England to steal the land from the Catholic Irish a few centuries earlier. Yeah. I am the descendant of British white colonialism, racism, and white privilege. Yikes! Rather embarrassing for a liberal Democrat. 

So, I am not really proud of this heritage and have been ruminating on it for some time. “Is there any silver lining?”  I kept asking myself. “Am I somehow limited and defined by my colonial heritage? Can I find any sense of peace about my ancestors?”  I quickly shouted “Yes, there are some bright things to consider,” which I found in three, more recent, developments. First, my ancestors stayed north, making them Yankees. They were not plantation owners who bought and mistreated slaves.  Although they may have had slaves early on up north, several ancestors fought as Yankees in the Civil War, against slavery. Whew! Some redemption there, for sure. 

Second, I look at my fellow colonial America descendants, many of whom still live in CT and MA. Both of these states are highly democratic now. And, of course, Democrats like myself are supportive of minority rights and minority immigrants today.  From the MA Democratic  party website: 

“Massachusetts Democrats believe that every person has the right to live a full, meaningful life with equal access to opportunity, security, and inclusion. We believe that our government exists to empower people by providing high-quality public education, ensuring universal access to healthcare, protecting our environment, reducing income inequality, and guaranteeing equal rights and opportunity for all. We believe that when we empower people to organize their local communities, we can change our Commonwealth and our country for the better.”

There is definitely more redemption there! Today, colonial descendants are working towards the same goals as the founding Americans and remain committed as ever to our democracy. Sadly it is not true for all Americans. I am delighted that I do not descend from whichever lines led to the rise of the modern version of white supremacy and autocracy, rooted in a number of western states. 

My third source of solace comes from the current state of the church founded by my ancestors. The Congregational Church was created by the Pilgrims and has a sordid past that includes witch burning. However, after supporting the underground railroad and offering legal support to the renegade black slaves on the Amistad, it morphed into the United Church of Christ. Today the UCC is the most progressive denomination of all. And by the way, that is the church where I was ordained and the profession I retired from 5 years ago. I can attest to its quest for justice for people of color and of all sexual persuasions  Simply stated on the UCC website: 

        “United in Spirit and inspired by God’s grace, we welcome all, love all, and seek justice for all.”

And yes, knowing that the racist, strict church of my ancestors is a beacon to progressive ideals provided deep redemption and hope. From racist to progressive. It is not a bad outcome.

As I write, one more silver lining comes up. My ancestors participated in the creation of the greatest democracy, the greatest country ever. They were far from perfect, but they and I can be proud of what America became and what it can still be. It really motivates me to do what I can to fight the threat to democracy that was made evident in the recent capital riot and the great lie about election fraud.  In some sense, I feel a responsibility to our democracy, considering how hard my ancestors worked to make America what it is. But, their ideals will only prevail if everyone, regardless of their lineage, comes together again and again, like we saw in the recent presidential election.

So, at some point I will start looking at my mother’s ancestors. From my DNA results, I know that it will be more of the same. More racist white privilege folks and land stealers. Thankfully, I get to define who I am now apart from these people and, maybe, my sweet little descendants will look at my life and be proud that I was different.